Welcome to the University of Chicago! I’m
Phil the Phoenix.
[Phoenix appears] You know, like that bird there in Harry Potter? The one who randomly…bursts into flames… Okay so I’m not exactly like that. The Great
Chicago Fire? Totally not my fault.
[The phoenix is on fire] Ahem, in any case…
[Fire covering Chicago] Today our tour begins on the quad, where if
the weather’s right, you might spot a hammock or two. The school-owned hammocks are a favorite for
studying, relaxing, or catching some Zs. I’ve
[People in the hammocks] also been banned from using them, after I
may or may not have set four on fire.
[The hammock is set alight] …Moving on.
We’re also a little obsessed with gothic architecture.
[Goth in front of a building] And don’t go assuming anything about our age;
we’re actually a pretty new school.
[Old guy with a walking stick saying he is hip] But even though our doors opened in 1890,
our architect was super into that gothic look. …And no, I don’t mean dark leather trench
coats—I’m talkin’ gargoyles. Don’t worry, these ones don’t actually come to life
like in the Disney movies…usually.
[Picture of a gargoyle] We’ve also got places like Harper Library.
If you’ve ever dreamed about setting foot
[Guy looking happy in the library] in The Great Hall at Hogwarts, well then you gotta
check out Harper Library. I mean…there are no floating candles…but
there are also no dark wizards plotting your demise. Fair trade I say. And if I haven’t oversold the Harry Potter
thing yet, well check this out: when you arrive
[Student dressed like Harry Potter] on day one for your first year, they sort
[Sorting hat] Sure, it’s 38 houses instead of four, and
a fat lady doesn’t guard the way in and
[Women in the way of the door] out of your bedroom. But once you’re put
in a house, that’s where you stay if you choose to live on campus beyond your freshman
year—which a lot of students do. Sure, there are those who would rather live
out in the real world instead of letting some weather-beaten hat decide their fate, but
less than half of our roughly six thousand
[Student stood in front of a house] undergrad students live off campus. I guess the siren call of paying your own
rent and making your own meals is just too difficult to resist for some.
Meanwhile, for those interested in Greek life,
[People wearing togas] well…um…we do eat plenty of Greek
yogurt.. Okay, fine, I’ll give it to you straight:
UChicago’s reputation is sorta…kinda…being the place where fun goes to…die.
[Guy wearing a shirt that says fun drops to the floor] …But we have hammocks! In actuality, we do have a growing presence
of fraternities and sororities, but if you’re
[Girl asleep in a hammock] hoping for that wild and crazy frat life you
hear about at state schools, you’re likely
[People at a party] gonna be disappointed here. Only one in ten students belong to a Greek
organization, but nine in ten students enjoy Greek yogurt! Maybe. Don’t hold me to that
[Girl holding lots of pots of yogurt] But our lack of interest in all things Greek
doesn’t mean we deserve our reputation for being dull. I mean, we enjoy a good crocheting
session as much as the next guy.
[Girl next to a crocheted tree cover] Kidding. C’mon, we live in Chicago. Chicago! So when it comes to cutting loose, we know
how to do it…by hanging out on campus in a basement pub run by the school!
[Guy looking happy next to the bar] …You know that sounded way cooler when I
said it in my head. Okay, I’m not really doing it justice. The
pub is a longstanding tradition at UChicago. Between the bar games, the pub grub, and the
drinks on tap, The Pub isn’t a bad way to
[Pictures of a darts board, nachos and beers] spend an evening. However, Hyde Park does offer several other
night life and entertainment choices just nearby.
[Picture of the theater] Public transport will get you all over the city
if you’ve gotta get off campus.
[Guy at the subway station] And you may want to once in a while because
that saying about UChicago killing fun, while
[Guy wearing the fun shirt drops to the floor again] not totally true, is founded by the fact that
my students are extremely…well…studious.
[Guy sat studying on his computer] Any talk of UChicago tends to revolve around
our academics. And to put it bluntly, in that department we rock. I could go through all of the programs we
have that rank inside the top 10 in the nation, but I’m not sure we’d have enough time.
Let’s just say that US News and World Report
[Arm with a watch on appears] has ranked us as the 4th overall finest university
in the country. So yeah, we may not be technically ivy league, but we are what most ivy league schools
aspire to be. So if you want to go here, you better come
with your “A” game. Literally. Have lots
[Guy with a report card full of As] of A’s. We only accept about 8% of our applicants.
Most folks will have a better chance of receiving a letter delivered by an owl, than getting
[Owl carrying an envelope] But if you do get in, you’ll get to participate
in the second largest scavenger hunt in the world. See, I’m not all Harry Potter all the time all academia. Scav Hunt is the annual event here at UChicago.
We used to be first but those guys at Google
[Guy with his thumb up outside the Google campus] are serious one-uppers. Anyway…it may be
called a scavenger hunt, but in reality it’s oh so much more. Teams might be asked to run a reverse dog
[Guy going down a mountain backwards on a sled] …Or they may take part in a WWII style kissing
contest. To get points you have to be the last couple standing with your lips continuously
[The phoenix kissing a pigeon] …or best of all, travel to Augusta, Georgia
to get 42 Masters golf balls. Yeah, Scav Hunt
[All the golf balls land on a woman’s head] is way too big to stay on campus, or even
in Chicago. And that about wraps it up! I hope you’ve
enjoyed our little tour of the University of Chicago as much as I have. We hope to see you— Oh I hate when that happens. Anyway, thanks for
coming and Go Maroons!
[The phoenix sets alights and collapses]